I would be remiss if I didn’t offer up some thoughts on Mother’s Day. It had always been a source of particularly sad/painful/avoidance feelings for me, until I began my spiritual journey of understanding the WHY in all of it.
My first understanding of the idea of Mother’s Day came very early in life, when at 5 or 6 years old we were tasked in school with making our mothers a card out of construction paper and markers. I froze. I couldn’t draw anything at all on my card. When the teacher noticed that I wasn’t participating she came over to my little desk and asked “Don’t you want to make your mom a card?” I said “I don’t have a mama.” I’m sure she was aghast, but she quickly asked “Well who takes care of you?” With that, she encouraged me to make my Granny a Mother’s Day card instead. This seemed okay and I did it and my Granny kept that card as long as she lived. But I was acutely aware after that moment that I was the only one who didn’t have a mom and therefore Mother’s Day was BAD.
As many of you know, my mother’s absence was a huge point of growth and learning for me. I can say with certainty that who I am now could not have happened without her leaving at such an early age. My sweet Granny took over with help from my Dad’s sisters - my Aunt Barbara and Aunt Sharon. So I had the mother who gave me life and then moved on with hers, I had the grandmother who sacrificed her retirement to essentially raise a 7th child, and I had two aunties who stepped in where they were needed and to be 2 of the coolest women I knew. I am glad to say I did get to spend very small amounts of time with my mother growing up, but sad to say that I never reached a place of true understanding and forgiveness of her while she was alive.
ALL of these women are now in Spirit. I miss each of them every single day, but I know they are without pain and Earthly struggles and are having a blast in the Light. My mom and I have come a long way in healing our relationship with her in Spirit.
On Earth, we are socialized to believe that things - especially our family members and the family unit - should behave a certain way. Moms should be loving and supportive and exude feminine energy that nurtures us all of their lives. Dads are to be strong, protective, and love us maybe with less emotion but with actions that show us who they are and how to embody their particular brand of strength. We need siblings to be close and helpful and funny and hold mirrors to us so that we can check ourselves. And we need our extended family to always have our backs, and no one should ever betray our love.
Am I right? This is what we hold as the standard.
So when THAT perfect standard isn’t met, we feel cheated. We feel betrayed by our bad luck. We feel maybe we shouldn’t have been born if it was gonna be so hard.
My mom left and my dad provided but he was dealing with his own demons and wasn’t very nice most of the time. The love in my life was piecemeal but very very REAL. And even in the abandonment and abuse there were still good moments and spots of peace.
Here is what you should know:
Before we are born, we lay out a very detailed and specific life plan, and we CHOOSE our parents and our extended family of origin. We CHOOSE the obstacles we’ll be up against in the lifetime, and the lessons we should learn from those hard times. We CHOOSE, collectively, our supporting cast in the movies of our lives. We choose those who love us, who abandon us, who mistreat us, who provide opportunities for us, and who allow us to work towards the goal of becoming better versions of ourselves.
The WHOLE POINT of our incarnation on Earth is to learn, grow, and LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY.
If you can adopt the metaphor that our incarnations are exactly like writing a script, casting the characters, and putting the production together for one life only, you will understand that the villains are JUST as important to who you become as the ones who LOVED you as expected. That everyone who showed up in your lifetime was MEANT to be in their specific role to help you grow in the ways you decided you wanted to grow. And yes, we choose super hard things to experience down here so that we can truly GET the lesson. In the middle of the shit storm, you can’t remember what your pure soul decided was best for you though. It’s hard because you designed it that way.
To EVERYONE who misses their mom in Heaven,
To EVERYONE who had a great mom,
To EVERYONE who had an absent mom,
To EVERYONE who just wanted to be loved and accepted by their mom,
To EVERYONE who has decided to BE a mom and isn’t sure they’re doing a “perfect” job,
To EVERYONE who mothers children to whom you didn’t give birth,
To EVERYONE who acts as Bonus Moms and Auntie Moms, and
To EVERYONE who wanted to be a mom but couldn’t be…
Please for today give yourself all the love and grace and care you can muster. You are in a beautifully imperfect human experience and who YOU are and will always be is a gloriously perfect soul, a child of the Light, playing different parts until you’re satisfied you’ve “been there, done that” enough.
To Gina, To Miriam, To Barbara, and To Sharon, I love you dearly in this life and in all we’ve had before and all we will have again. 🥰❤️🌹🌈
PS. To all who want to learn more about incarnation and why we choose the lessons we do, a GREAT book to start with is Wisdom of Souls published by the Michael Newton Institute. 🙏🏻
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