In the days leading up to this day, you all may have been considering what the new year would bring, what it has in store for you, and what changes you should enact to make the magic happen for you. Will this be the year that everything turns around?
There’s nothing wrong with making resolutions for the New Year. These breaks in time have always seemed arbitrary and contrived to me. I’m no different today than I was yesterday, and the idea that I can somehow make myself anew just because we swapped out calendars has lost itself on me. I am 47, so it took a while to realize all this, but here we are. It also took me a really long time to stop people pleasing and to start throwing away the things I don’t need.
I look in the mirror and I see the effects of my 47 years. Wrinkles dust my face, my vision isn’t as clear, and yes, I have extra pounds I don’t want. Last night I was afforded the opportunity to babysit my 8-month old niece and I was as happy as a fly on a pig in cool mud. My sweet niece is the best baby ever, and still I was worn out enough to need a nap when she left for home. This, from someone training for a marathon.
Instead of making a bunch of empty promises to myself this year, I’ve decided to try a different tack. I’m going to be grateful for what I have, let go of what I no longer need, and put my energy into manifesting the most love and healing I can create.
What would it look like in this world if we all stopped scrutinizing ourselves? Maybe we would love ourselves more. And if we loved ourselves more, we’d have the energy to love others. And if we love others, we stop judging them. When we stop judging others, we can bridge the gaps between us. When those gaps are closed up, then maybe the pieces of our basic humanity stand out more to us than any differences we picked them apart for before. When we see that others go through hard times and broken hearts too, it’s easier to put the love first in our interactions with them.
I don’t know where you stand, but I believe there is a God. A Light in all of us. This light is pure compassion, and the Big Lie is that we are somehow separated from this light, or never were a part of it to begin with. At the lowest point of my spiritual journey, I still believed in God…I just figured he didn’t even know my name, and if he did, he didn’t like me at all. I turned all my frustration, anger, and grief in on myself and shot myself down even further than I had to go. I did things that held the effect of deliberately standing in my own way.
Why? Because I wasn’t perfect? Because I didn’t feel loved? Because I had too much shame to allow my own Light to show?
There are many reasons we might think we should be perfect, but that’s *not why we’re here* at all. We are here to learn. Earth is school. Some of us are older, some younger, but none of us have it easy and we are all working on something. Even you. You are working on something big, and you’re learning big things. These are big soul growing things that are only learned by experience. Just like when my Dad showed me how to change a tire. I learned by doing. Even if my little spaghetti arms needed help removing the lug nuts. No time is wasted, and no experience is for nothing.
The Light is a force for the help you seek, and it is already inside you. Any dreams you have for this New Year can be manifested just by believing in your own journey, letting go of the anger and frustration for not already having achieved perfection, and taking the time to collect yourself, breathe, and appreciate the battle-worn you that showed up today and read this.
You’re here. You’re already working towards your dreams. You’re already perfectly okay. As for me, that’s quite enough.
May you all find the courage and strength to love yourselves as much as you love those closest to you. Happy 2022!
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